


Clara's Dozen Eggs

by NotAnotherCursedFic



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:07:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23715661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotAnotherCursedFic/pseuds/NotAnotherCursedFic
Summary: Clara has specific taste which she can't seem to satisfy. Little did she know, a certain TimeLord has what she needed all along.
Relationships: Twelfth Doctor & Clara Oswin Oswald, Twelfth Doctor/Clara Oswin Oswald
Comments: 6
Kudos: 5





	Clara's Dozen Eggs

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry.

A waterfall. A waterfall inside a volcano. On a moon! Who knew the universe could be so complex? He had to show her, and he had to show her now.

That was how The Doctor found himself emerging from the TARDIS in the middle of Clara Oswald's living room, making a beeline for her bedroom where he was sure she would be resting peacefully. However, with each step towards her room, some faint screaming gradually got louder. Shocked, the Time Lord realised she was yelling out at the top of her lungs.  
"Yes."  
"More."  
"I'm gonna crack!"  
What was happening? Was she having a nightmare, or being attacked?

He burst the door open, startling her. She screamed for real this time.

"Doctor!! What are you doing here? Ever heard of privacy?!"

The Doctor stared at her, taking in the sight inch by inch. She was lying on her bed, naked, holding something akin to an oval shaped, smooth computer mouse to her most private regions. But it was vibrating. Clara eventually shook herself from her state of shock, stopped the vibrations and hid the contraption under her pillow. She wrapped her blankets around herself protectively, her face slowly turning ever-deepening shades of red.

"Clara, what is that? Was it hurting you? Let me Sonic it so I can take care of whoever was torturing you!" The Doctor was now even more shocked and confused, yet she continued to look upon him with faint disgust and a hint of embarrassment.

Clara cleared her throat, and stuttered "Doctor, um no, it's mine and it, uhmmm, it wasn't causing me pain. Quite the opposite, actually." She slowly lifted her pillow and extracted the device, handing it to him.

It felt strange in his hands, slightly wet too. He had never seen such a thing in his 2000 years of existence, or however long it had been. He had no idea what it was and why she had it near her... He shuddered at the thought.

"It's a vibrator," Clara announced suddenly. "An egg shaped vibrator. It's helped me feel less lonely since Danny died."

The Doctor turned his back to his companion. His mind racing, thoughts flying, but there was one emotion just standing there stronger than the rest. Jealousy.

"Why?" The Doctor spat, rage starting to course through his veins. He realised what he was doing, then sighed, deflated. "Why...an egg?"

"What? The shape? That's what you're so angry about? Doctor it's none of your business how I get myself off!" Clara snapped back, she couldn't believe his audacity. After a couple minutes of silence, she gave in. "I've got a fondness for eggs, ever since I saw you across the street talking to your friend Nardole. I admired him from afar as he devoured that packet of prawn cocktail crisps. I didn't expect to be turned on by it, but the smoothness of his bald head just does things to my body."

He couldn't meet her eyes, she gazed at him but he looked anywhere but at her. 

"I really don't see why you're so upset, Doc--"

"I am right here! You're using an inanimate object to bring you pleasure but-" he unzipped his trousers. "I've been here all along!" He threw his trousers and question mark boxers down to the ground to reveal an actually quite large, spherical shell hanging where most men would have genatalia. It had two dots and a curved line which she figured to be the egg's face. She crawled tentatively towards him, eyes locked on the hard shell. 

"Is this... is this your penis, Doctor?"

"No, Clara it is obviously an egg. But for all intents and purposes, yes you could call it my penis." The Doctor replied.

She reached out to gently touch it, and The Doctor winced, but that didn't deter her. She gripped it tightly, not too tight as to break the solid exterior. She twisted her hand around it, faster and faster respective of the way he moaned. The face on the shell changed to one of pleasure, his head fell back and he couldn't hold on any longer, until, after a few firm strokes, the shell cracked. Clara's hands were filled with a transparent goo within which a bright yellow yolk floated. 

"You're amazing, Clara. I've dreamt of this for so long." Clara looked up at him with worry in her eyes. The Doctor continued, "don't worry. It will regrow itself, I just have to keep it warm. Actually, it would help if you sat on my lap."

Clara agreed and climbed atop him, like a giant human hen. It was in that moment they realised, their love was would be difficult but it was worth the whisk.

Fin.


End file.
